Africa: Of Misunderstandings, the Best Laid Plans and Language Challenge · Global Voices
Paula Odhiambo

I know, I know. Months after my last post, here I am, sneaking quietly back into my Global Voices space to post another article like nothing happened, as though it has not been months since you last heard from me. I know you’re waiting to hear the chorus. Here it comes… say it with me: It’s been a while.
Well, let's get right to it, because if we don't, it will probably be a while before all men get to understand what Kenyan blogger Wanjiku Ndungu is hoping they will internalize someday. According to her, we women are not as complicated as we may seem. For instance, her ideal man has three simple but very important qualities: he knows God, he is honest with the little and the big things, and he can listen. If, in addition to these things, he can loosen up and make her laugh, she will be in relationship heaven. “With men,” Ciku shares, “It's all mixed up!”
She continues:
A man might ask you out and have you thinking, ‘Wow, he likes me, or he wants to know me,’ only for you to find out that he was plotless or he just didn’t want to go to the movies alone, or his friend stood him up so he decided to call you!
Not all women are after your money! Relax!! And me offering to pay for dinner or lunch doesn’t make you less of a man, or it doesn’t mean I’m trying to show you that I’m independent. I just want to treat my man as well.
“I’m tired of my brothers using the visual creature excuse on us, a thousand centuries later. Please. You are the man, you’re in control, zip it!! And on the same note, stop ogling at me as if am a piece of meat you want to eat!
Looks like the misunderstandings do not end with men and women – Neefemi has a very important point to make in a stern message addressed to all tweeps who think they are better than bloggers:
So i missed the gist and i'm not curious enough to ask, but its another episode of war against bloggers on twitter. I am tired of it, the stereotype is extremely annoying really. I am a proud blogger, i blog about everything and anything. If i tell you that i blog and its reason enough for you to not talk to me, GOOD RIDDANCE. I am looking for any reason to not talk to guys anyways, so out the door you go, don't let the door hit you. Yes, i am sure my blogging has possibly affected my life ,friendships and  relationships. I DO NOT CARE. You just do not have to read. Finish..
Her irritation with the blogger-tweep drama is just  one of many incidents in this Nigerian unpaid intern’s life. She moves on quickly, sharing the other things that are going on. Apparently, guys are now sexually attracted to her (they might want to read Ciku’s post first). She has exams, and she got a piercing on her neck. One would think being an intern – an unpaid one at that – would mean no adventure, but this is not the case at all, as you will discover when you hit Neefemi’s blog.
Gee's 30-day challenge. Image from Gee's blog.
Gee is taking the 30-day challenge, and apparently,  on Day 8, she was on a diet.
Well… kind of:
…Whenever I make egusi I always end up making stew. Plus I now added pasta sauce also and somewhere along the line, I remembered how my beans rocked so I added it. Its not like I don't eat all these foods at all o, because of the fat and oil it all takes, so I just decide to stay away or make substitutes like what I call leaf soup(with no egusi and palm oil), LoL. But of course this weekend the real deal was needed. Also that Hawaiian bread I said I wont eat again(because it is too sweet and once I start the pack of 24 rolls I finish it instantly), I bought it too this weekend, cuz my guest requested for it, even though I had more than half of it still. Finally there is something that comes with taking walks in the parks and one the riverside with your Boy friend, that thing is called Ice cream!
Laurenta is also participating in the 30-day challenge. Her Day 3 post is dedicated to the first novel she ever read, which is about the cunning tortoise who stole porridge in his cap and wore it.
First novel Nigerian blogger Laurent read at the age of 6. Image from Laurenta
She writes:
I have decided to go back to the very beginning, when my love for books and reading began at the very young age of 6years when i was in Primary three, we had this book club in my primary school that was sponsored by Lantern Books, they subsidized the prices of their books for anyone that wanted to join the book club and my parents registered me in it, every week we got a new book. This helped my understanding of the English Language so much, by the time i was out of primary school my reading speed was through the roof, i could devour an entire novel in hours, even to this day people marvel at how fast i read and write.
Sugabelly has come up with language challenge where Nigerian bloggers have to make an audio post in traditional dialects.
Here are some of the rules:
1. It DOES NOT MATTER how well you can speak your language. The goal is to speak regardless. So don't worry if you don't speak that well or you have to include lots of English words. ALL language levels are welcome.
2. Video posts or Audio posts are strongly preferred. This is because the point is to hear and enjoy the spoken language. Written posts are frowned upon but will be accepted too. ^_^
3. Please always provide a translation for your readers of other ethnicities! Translations should be in English and can be in the form of captions under a video post, or written transcripts for audio and written posts.
This is the transcript of Sugabelly's language challenge entry:
Hi …. It's Sugabelly… This is my post. I want to thank all the people who've said they'll participate in my Language Challenge.
Everyone please do your best because it will be really great for us all to hear all the various Nigerian languages on Blogville.
I'm really happy because we've already got a few entries in three languages: Sting did hers in Pidgin, Aseni did hers in Yoruba, and IphyIgboGurl did hers in Igbo.
Meanwhile, I've put links on the Language Challenge page so you can see who's already done theirs.
It’s quite comforting to discover that I’m not the only one whose plans have fallen through from time to time!