Africans Have a Laugh at Themselves Imagining ‘If Africa Was a School’ · Global Voices
Ndesanjo Macha

“#IfAfricaWasASchool all dormitories would be located in SA…” A “South Africa: Bed and Breakfast” meme shared on Twitter by different users such as @ColloTheBoy.
African Twitter users are at it again, making fun of the continent, its countries and their leaders.
Last year, it was the #IfAfricaWasABar hashtag. This time, Africans are using #IfAfricaWasASchool to make hilarious comparisons between aspects of school life and aspects of daily life in African countries.
Here's a selection of some of the better tweets published on Twitter.
On President Jacob Zuma of South Africa:
#IfAfricaWasASchool this would be that kid who never misses school, all he misses are the answers pic.twitter.com/qoppfO8Bz5
— Hamaz Mo (@HamazMo_) August 25, 2016
The rand is South Africa's currency. Zuma has no formal education.
On President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda:
#IfAfricaWasASchool —-Uganda pic.twitter.com/40u87meYXq
— aye Bura (@brynear) August 25, 2016
Museveni has been Uganda's president since 1986, and he won a controversial fifth term in February 2016 elections with over 60% of the vote. The political country's opposition claims that the poll was rigged, and international observers and human rights groups have also criticized the election process. Many of the country's leading opposition figures have been placed under house arrest for months. Authorities have shut down social media more than once in what some see as an effort to stymie discussion.
On President Muhammad Buhari of Nigeria:
#IfAfricaWasASchool buhari will be that class captain that takes delight in writing names of noise makers.
— CHUKA… (@iam_kellyjoe) August 25, 2016
In Nigerian primary schools, a pupil is usually appointed class captain, whose job is, among others, to compile a list of fellow students who make noise in the absence of a teacher. This list is usually handed over to the teacher and those involved are punished..
On President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe:
#IfAfricaWasASchool how Mugabe will respond every time he is asked to retire from being a principal pic.twitter.com/lP6Md2We8w
— Thato M (@TatzMog60) August 25, 2016
President Mugabe, 92, has been Zimbabwe's president since 1987.
On Egypt:
#ifAfricaWasAschool Egypt will be the light-skinned student who never mingle with others because he thinks he is private school material
— C•A| Winston (ZW) (@Curate_Africa) August 24, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool Egypt would be that kid that hates his parents for taking him to that school coz he doesn't fit in
— wonderwall (@al3xmwah) July 28, 2015
Egypt sits mostly in Africa, but parts of the country stretch into Asia. Many Egyptians don't consider themselves to be African.
On Zambia:
#IfAfricaWasASchool Zambia is that religious student who thinks prayer solve everything
“there is a snake in class run”
Zambia : Lets pray
— C•A| Winston (ZW) (@Curate_Africa) August 24, 2016
Zambia's leaders have a tendency to calling for national prayers to solve problems such as power shortages, election violence, depreciation of the local currency etc. In October last year, President Edgar Lungu called for national prayers and fasting on to ask God to intervene in the country's many issues of the day. Zambia's constitution declares it a Christian nation.
On Zimbabwe:
#IfAfricaWasASchool Zimbabwe will be that student that brings wood as school fees”
— Thuso Ka Bontlenyane (@am_thuso) July 28, 2015
Zimbabwe is set to print its own version of US dollar due to cash shortage in the country. The country introduced the US dollar after abandoning its own currency because of hyperinflation.
On Madagascar:
#IfAfricaWasASchool Madagascar would be the kid no one invites to a party coz they live out of town.
— NoID (@EphraimAlpha) July 28, 2015
The island of Madagascar is about 400 kilometers (250 miles) off the eastern coast of southern Africa.
On Kenya:
#IfAfricaWasASchool kenya's grandmother at sports day just in case their child comes last at long distance running pic.twitter.com/pb7JxNbyFP
— #Pognyoro (@SangomaNunu) July 28, 2015
Kenyan runners have dominated long distance races for many decades.
On South Africa:
#IfAfricaWasAschool South Africa would be the student who starts his stories with “Man,Last night was crazy! Remember that girl from…..”
— Afrilawd. (@ChimukaHamz) July 28, 2015
#IfAfricaWasASchool all dormitories would be located in SA…😁😁 pic.twitter.com/DQF59qZWDN
— Collins Mutunkei (@ColloTheBoy) August 25, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool everyone would befriend South Africa.. Just so he could be invited for a sleep over … In Cape Town.
— African (@Nhfresh) August 25, 2016
On Ethiopia:
.@_Almaqah every time Ethiopia reminds the other kids for the 1000th time it was never colonized #ifafricawasaschool pic.twitter.com/iM4nFl6NOO
— Karen Attiah (@KarenAttiah) August 25, 2016
Ethiopia and Liberia are the only countries in Africa that were never colonised.
Other tweeps joked about the continent in general:
#IfAfricaWasASchool then this would be the sort of questions and answers during normal class lessons. pic.twitter.com/5S9hPJ8lXq
— Collins Mutunkei (@ColloTheBoy) August 25, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool America and China will always be fighting to sponsor the school.
— Squire Of Soweto (@Mpho_Malgas7) August 25, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool
White exchange student: Can y'all teach me African
Everyone: pic.twitter.com/5sTBIKuQCr
— Young Fiji Water🌙💦 (@MumboSauceWalka) 25 de agosto de 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool ot her schools would take our books and then wonder why we don't graduate
— Sabrina (@_xsabrinaa) August 25, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool school would start at 8 but everyone would show up at 11
— ayan (@mauvetone) August 25, 2016
#IfAfricaWasASchool This would be one of the privileges of being a Prefect. pic.twitter.com/Zk3SlamnCI
— Mb'ra Aug 25-27 (@jahgen) August 25, 2016
Finally, the African Union was not spared:
#IfAfricaWasASchool
When you suggest to the student body that the African Union can help solve campus issues pic.twitter.com/K3SSLEIq3w
— Karen Attiah (@KarenAttiah) August 25, 2016