So the Caribbean Walks Into a Bar… · Global Voices
Janine Mendes-Franco

RAM Party Inside Haiti's Historic Hotel Oloffson; photo by Steve Bennett, used under a CC BY-NC 2.0 license.
The rest of the world often regards the Caribbean region as a monolith, but there are so many cultural differences — and sometimes points of contention — among territories that it can be hard to keep up.
Twitter has come to the rescue, though, with an insanely popular hashtag #IfTheCaribbeanWasABar. If you want to understand the region's strange sensibilities, what makes the Caribbean tick and how citizens of different islands perceive one another, put on your party clothes and have a drink in the virtual bar that is the Caribbean archipelago.
Rich in natural resources, Trinidad and Tobago has long had a reputation for being one of the more economically stable countries — and in its heyday (the 1980s, when oil prices were high) it was often in the position to loan money to other islands.
As a result, Trinidadians earned a reputation for being a tad boastful about their means. Equate them to the guys in the bar who pull up in the most expensive cars and swagger their way around…
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Jamaica, Barbados and Guyana would make T&T pay for ALL the rounds….”and yuh have oil?!”
— Nick Murray (@nickamurray) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar When time come to pay the tab the other islands would all look in #Trinidad‘s direction!
— Fake Patrick Manning (@patrickmanning) July 29, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Trinidad would be buying everyone drinks, and spend the next 10 years reminding everyone…
— Grandpa Kevin (@kramTT) July 28, 2015
In this virtual beach bar, most folks want to hang with the ‘cool’ people — in Caribbean terms, that apparently means Barbados, Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago, despite their rivalry…
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Jamaica (Beyoncé~), Trinidad and Barbados would walk in like pic.twitter.com/AkcsXGqwUl
— Senhor (@ashrouen) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar when Jamaica enters the bar and spots Trinidad and Barbados pic.twitter.com/Y5ZYAwWm6g
— Chester Jones (@chesterjones_) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Trinidad, Jamaica and Barbados are those three girls that dislike each other but have to take pics together
— Snob Marley (@FreshPrinceK22) July 28, 2015
And speaking of catty rivalries…
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar when Cuba and Puerto Rico come in the same outfit…Barbados and Trinidad be like pic.twitter.com/RXZ35ZIAGd
— Chester Jones (@chesterjones_) July 28, 2015
Montserrat is at the top of the list, especially considering that it barely has a population to talk about — most people were forced to flee, mainly to the UK, after the eruption of the Soufriere volcano 10 years ago.
Actually they were there but no one noticed. #IfTheCaribbeanWasABar
— Sardonyx Fan Club (@KanikaJo) July 28, 2015
There are also territories that many netizens don't really consider Caribbean, even though they are, whether geographically or politically:
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Bermuda would drink everyone under the table. Then again Bermuda isn't a part of the Caribbean.
— Davon A (@davon_a) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Guyana would turn up without an I.D, and argue with the bouncers that they're “legally Caribbean, so they can get in”
— £. (@VEEmix) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Guyana would be special guest appearance. “All the way from South America ….📣📣📣
— Alex is Sanchez (@Babbstar11) July 28, 2015
And then, there's Tobago. The sister island of Trinidad and one of the most beautiful in the archipelago, Tobago has gained the unfortunate reputation of being the ugly stepsister, and Twitter users milked it for all it was worth:
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Trinidad sour whole night because she mother tell she to bring Tobago with her.
— Grandpa Kevin (@kramTT) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar: Tobago would learn about the turn up via Trinidad's SnapChat.
— Mr. Cooke (@JcSkyline) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar *Trinidad&Tobago reach the door* *Trindad walks in*…*Bouncer stops Tobago* ✋ Trinidad: “no, he's with me”
— IG: SeanChrisCASTLE (@SeanChrisCASTLE) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Tobago would be complaining to her gfs that her sugar daddy Trinidad not funding enough of her high maintenance life.
— Rachel Ramperhappy (@racheltnt) July 28, 2015
#ifthecaribbeanwasabar Guyana, Jamaica and Trinidad would close it down while Tobago's in the back wanting to go home
— ;♡ Mon chéri (@MeekaV_) July 29, 2015
Of course, pressing regional issues, such as the pending deportation that many Dominicans of Haitian descent now face — and the region's attitude towards Haiti as as a whole — have come under fire:
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Haiti would be the doormat.
— New Caco Movement (@BLK_DIASPORAS) July 29, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Haiti would be like put that on France's tab
— Gregory (@Qwaid) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Dominican Republic would use the Brown Paper Bag test, before deciding to let you in the bar.
— £. (@VEEmix) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Haiti would be that girl crying outside of the bar, because her man Dominican Republic doesn't claim her.
— £. (@VEEmix) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Dominican Republic would walk in & everyone would be lkke pic.twitter.com/n2t9OLiPPu
— Senhor (@ashrouen) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Haiti and the Dominican Republic would end up bottling one another 😩😩😩
— Senhor (@ashrouen) July 28, 2015
There was quite a bit of commentary about the region's music, dancing and socialising styles:
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Jamaica would be whining one big batty gyal in a corner
— Papa Bear (@aidenhw_) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar it would open at 10pm Jamaica would arrive at 6am in snake skin boots
— The Honorable Lamzy (@MrLamzy) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Jamaicans pullin up to the party like pic.twitter.com/aNIGrYVJeS
— 28. (@LushhLuxe) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Montserrat and British Virgin islands when the DJ plays “To all my independent ladiesssss!!” pic.twitter.com/eOYNv49e6S
— inappropriate. (@_Carluhhhh) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar Jamaica and Trinidad would be arguing with the DJ over who's music should be played 😂😂😂
— Senhor (@ashrouen) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar T&T, Barbados & Guyana would be arguing whole night but when the DJ run a Soca they'd be like pic.twitter.com/1elgIAHStQ
— I'm Washed (@jarelxantoine) July 28, 2015
#IfTheCaribbeanWasABar When fight bruk out the DJ would play Celine Dion to unify the nations
— The Honorable Lamzy (@MrLamzy) July 28, 2015
If the popular hashtag continues to trend on Twitter, some netizens are afraid it might have long-term effects:
Thinking that this #IfTheCaribbeanWasABar hashtag continues for much longer there's going to be a regional civil war lol
— ah is a trini (@agodtt) July 28, 2015