Yes, I Wear a Bra, and It's Visible. So?

Nivedita N Kumar, a journalist, posts an emotional Facebook note which has gone viral. Here is an excerpt from the powerful essay that lashes at the notion of the Indian patriarchal society that clothes provoke rapists:

Why? Why do you do that? Stare at my breasts like they are cute babies calling out to be cuddled. Strip me naked, slowly, every time I enter the bus? Try to glimpse into my cleavage when I am sitting and reading in the metro.

Who gives you the right? To grope me in the crowded bus? To fall on me “innocently” when I buy popcorn in the theater. When I sit cross legged in the auto and you stop your bike and look hungrily at my legs.

A piece of meat, am I?

How do you think I feel? When I have to continuously watch over my shoulder, because it is 10 pm and there is nobody at the bus stop, except you. Staring at my neck.

The post itself got more than 35000 shares and after it was shared by the Logical Indian, it has so far received more than 260000 likes and more than 64000 shares.


  • Orbiting Moon

    Writing as a man, I detest arrogant or disrespectful male behaviour toward women and I do not understand men who behave this way. Here in North America I still see instances of guys whistling and making catcalls at a woman walking past. Why do some guys think it is cool? Do they not understand it is in their own best interests to behave in a gentlemanly way, to curry favour with women, to impress them? If men would think a bit, and women would teach them, and the media were to continue to shine light on the issue, then gentlemanliness would become the norm.

    • SUP

      does it whistling at a woman have to be disrespectful?

    • Veronika

      whistling is fine. Birds and other animals do the same to attract the opposite sex. Girls like us dress well to go out NOT to honor our beauty but expect people NOT to ignore us (in other words, getting some attentions from people). Guys cannot be that attractive and sexy-looking, so the only way is mannerism. You don’t do it to gain attention from girls by playing, mocking and stirring; you won’t get any girl.

  • Vikas Kumar

    Warning: Adult content

    Hello Dear,

    I do agree that a woman’s dress has nothing to do with her being raped or groped or whatever. Because, these days, 5 year old girls and even 80 year old grandmas are raped. Such acts are performed by mentally sick men or drunk men. When men are drunk they lose control over their brain, do all non-sense stuff, and when they see a woman half naked, they wouldn’t have power to control themselves, cause the alcohol would have overpowered them. Not all men do that, if they did, no woman would have existed on this planet.

    Please wear covering clothes, because you might fall into sight of such sick men. There are men and people to help you when in trouble. However, you cant expect people to come for help late in the midnight.

    Clothes are meant to cover you, isn’t it? Wearing exposing clothes defeats the whole purpose of wearing clothes. Clothes don’t mean anything to you, its to cover your body from others you wear them. Or if you feel uncomfortable, like when the weather is too hot or something, shorts and similar clothes are ok to wear. But when its freezing cold outside, why would you want to wear shorts, backless dresses, low neck dresses, etc.
    Why would you want to show half of your breasts, thighs, your naked back, the color, size and brand of your bra, panties to everyone on the street? Breasts are called private organs if you don’t know. Bra is an inner wear, which means you need to wear it inside. Not show it on the outside. If you want to expose your bra or your panties, why would you even wear the outside dress.
    Just go roam out in a bikini, or if you would like roam out naked. Why not? Why even wear that little piece of kerchief covering you? just go out naked. Whats stopping you doing that?

    You wear such clothes, to show others only isn’t it? Why else would you wear such dresses?

    You know sick men will stare at your cleavage, breasts, thighs, etc when you are showing it out publicly, don’t you? You know that’ll happen and you still wear such clothes. Why? I just don’t understand why you would like to wear such clothes? There’s no valid reason to wear such clothes, because we see so many woman wearing decent clothes. Why do you want to wear a backless dress? You wouldn’t see your own back right? So its not for you, why you are wearing it. Its for others to see you are wearing it right? Of course people then will see your naked back. As they see they get desirous to see even more.

    What makes you think that black skirt is pretty? You are showing half of your legs in that. You are almost naked in that, that ain’t pretty, that’s called sexy. Why would you want to wear sexy dress? To attract men towards you right?

    When you don’t like people smiling at your bra strap, why do you even show it to people? You wouldn’t want to see your own bra strap right? Its for others to see you are showing it out. Why why do you want to do that? You show it out, and then say he’s staring at my bra strap. When you don’t want men staring at it, just don’t show it. When you find something attractive, when something catches your eyes, you stare at it right? When you see a handsome man on a superbike, it catches your eyes and you do check him out right? What makes you think you have the right to check out guys, and we don’t have the same? You girls always talk of equality, and we don’t have the right to check you out when you’re showing it out is it? If you don’t want to be checked out, don’t show out!! Its so bitchy don’t you feel? How would you like a man wearing tight jeans, or wearing jeans showing his underwear, or half of his dick(penis). Would you like men roaming around with half of their erect dicks shown out?

    No I seriously don’t understand what is wrong with you girls these days. Those dresses aren’t pretty. They are sexy, they show out your sexual organs. They are meant to be shown to your sexual partner(husband), not people on the road. You know your cleavage shows when you wear a kurta, why would you even want to wear a dress that shows your cleavage? Its completely biological, that men get attracted when they see women in sexy clothes, that’s god’s creation. If you don’t want that, all men will become neutral, and there’ll be none left to fuck you and get you a kid. Understand? You expose, they get attracted, understand? As simple as that. If you don’t want that wear decent clothes.

    What culture are you from? I definitely think you are not an Indian. Your view of a woman is so stupid, baseless and bitchy. You smoke? What a bitch are you? You not only are spoiling your health, also spoiling health of decent people in the country.
    You drink? Why would you even do that? That makes you lose control of yourself. You are not you when you are drunk. You might get raped when you are drunk and not even know about it after you wake up. Don’t spoil Indian women with your bitchy cultures. You know smoking and drinking is bad, you still do that. You are sick too. Like those sick men. They know that raping is bad. But they still do it. Just like you smoke and drink.

    What would people talk about your parents, because of your stupid views like this? Do you think your parents would like to see you roaming on the street, half naked? That will psychologically kill them. Do you think they like you to see smoking and drinking, cuddling your boyfriend in the middle of the street? Huh? What non-sense?

    Do you think your brother, or parents would like to see you go back home drunk, losing full control over yourself, with your bra strap showing and falling off, since you’ve lost control? Is this what you want to preach? Go half naked on the streets? smoke, drink, fuck with your boyfriend, and go back home like you’re an innocent kid? No dad would like to see his daughter in her bra and panties, that too falling off , as you’ve lost control over your body, by poisoning yourself with alcohol. Is this why your parents are working and getting money? Is it for you to smoke, drink and fuck with your boyfriend all night, they are earning money? Huh?

    I thought, girls are atleast more matured than animals. Animals have no brains, they don’t wear clothes, they don’t have the power to think. You having brains, should atleast learn to protect your own body from others. Stop exposing your private stuff, we don’t want to see them too. I’ve seen women wearing high heels, and falling off as they are not comfortable. I’ve seen women wearing shorts and pulling them down, cause they feel uncomfortable. I’ve seen women wearing bras that only cover half of their breasts, and then later pulling them up. I’ve seen women wearing kurtas without dupatta and bending, later realising they’re showing their private stuff. You know private stuff shows up, still you wear such clothes. Don’t you have the least common sense to cover yourself ? I’ve seen women wearing tight clothes, feeling uncomfortable, and pulling the dress from all sides, to make air go in. Why would you want that? To show others only right?

    Don’t preach such non-sense culture in India. Please. There are many decent men in India.

  • Babar Shahid

    You start your piece with Why? Why do you do that? Well, that is exactly what I want to ask you. Why? Why do you do that?

    Parents who allow their daughters to wear what they want should not have children or need parenting lessons. Also, when girls become mothers, I am sure they don’t want to show pictures of their youth to their children, and boast about how much thigh they showed or how much cleavage they exposed. Even in the western world, in many schools and colleges, their are strict rules about what girls can and cannot wear. Also, many parents are more concerned about having their daughters cover up and not date rather than come home one day and tell their parents that they are pregnant.

    Or maybe we should not ruin women’s lives by telling them what to wear as they are already ruining it by having multiple transient sexual relationships and indulging in promiscuous behavior in the name of liberation and emancipation. Also, with the promotion of plunging necklines, spandex pants, short skirts, tight jeans, tops so deep that when girls bend down accidentally they reveal a lot more than they intended – girls today are bent on showing the world their rights.

  • Veronika

    You should not show off your body that much. It caught people attention on you and your sexy expression. You cannot just show and expect people not (forbid) to look at you. I know it’s personal freedom to show our body parts but it is just not wise to do so. Cover-up is better for safety to us.

  • dev

    oh this going way too far.
    1) Stop playing the victim card.
    2) Not all men are like that so stop craping and targeting the entire male category.
    3) You can drink we don’t have problem but when we drink n silently seat in a corner u folks comment n go ” sala tali Ho ke pada hai”.
    4) When men were low waist jeans I have heard many of you saying” tamiz nai hai chadi dikha ke ghoom raha hai” Yes I wear inner garments and its visible so?

    5) I am sure everyone might have read a post which went viral that a guy was slapped for offering a seat. We people have life beyond “women” we have r career jobs money cricket (sports) many other things to think about so we are not always thinking about you(females).
    6) When we do not open the door while going to office or the cab ur comments r like ” batamizz dikh nai raha ladki hai introvert” If we open the door regularly “chep sala”.

    I am not supporting the people who r doing wrong or doing illegal activities. But stop posting such male bashing post targeting every men in the world. There are many instances like where women have done hideous crime but it doesn’t comes to lime light because of reverse stereotyping of men but that doesn’t mean all women r bad.

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