The Spanish Newspaper ABC Takes a Beating on Twitter after Publishing an Article against Masturbation

Inicio del controvertido artículo aparecido en ABC.

The beginning of the controversial article as it appeared on ABC. Screenshot by the author.

“How can masturbation be prevented?,” an article published January 28 in the “Sex Ed” section of the Spanish newspaper ABC, has been a trending topic on Twitter all day long. The article, which offers “some advice that might help in the decision not to begin masturbating or to end the vicious cycle,” opens with a paragraph that makes its standpoint quite clear:

Lo primero es tener claro por qué la masturbación no es ni buena ni necesaria para la salud, dos puntos abordados en otras preguntas de esta sección de “respuestas a un click” ( Ayuda a fortalecer la decisión de no masturbarse el recordar que es necesario protegerse de la erotización del entorno actual.

The first step is to be aware that masturbation is neither a good thing nor necessary for health. These two points are addressed, among other issues, in this section of “Answers at a Click” ( [es]). In order to strengthen your resolve not to masturbate, it's essential to protect yourself from the eroticization of your environment.

After offering various guidelines that will supposedly help prevent masturbation—among others, exercising greater control over use of the Internet and television and talking with your friends about “bioethical problems of our time, such as abortion, cloning, euthanasia and the responsiblity that we all have regarding world hunger”—the article concludes:

En resumen: para evitar la masturbación o salir de su círculo vicioso hay que empezar por decidirse a hacerlo sabiendo que es posible y sano. Pero además, hay que poner medios concretos para fortalecer esa decisión: protegerte de la erotización, tener un estilo de vida saludable, ocupar constructivamente tu tiempo libre y elegir bien tus amistades. Así estarás preparándote para el amor sólido, que pasa por ser dueño de tu sexualidad, y no permitirás que la masturbación le quite calidad a esa capacidad de amar.

To sum up: in order not to begin masturbating or to stop the vicious cycle, you must in the first place know that your decision is both possible and healthy. But you'll also have to take concrete steps to ensure your success: protecting yourself from erotic stimuli, leading a healthy lifestyle, occupying your free time constructively and choosing your friends wisely.

The article, which disappeared from ABC's website a few hours after its publication, was saved and reposted [es] by the website [es]. According to its about page,

La web forma parte del proyecto de investigación Educación de la afectividad y de la sexualidad humana desarrollado por el Instituto Cultura y Sociedad de la Universidad de Navarra.

The website [es] is part of the “Education of Human Affectivity and Sexuality” project of the Institute for Society and Culture at the University of Navarra.

The University of Navarra, a private institution that belongs to Opus Dei, was itself founded by the founder of Opus Dei, Josémaría Escrivá de Balaguer. Although academically it has established itself among the best universitites in the world, it is ideologically very conservative.

Twitterers hastened to tear apart the article and offer sarcastic commentaries on its suggestions.

I agree with ABC about one thing. Choosing not to masturbate is a free decision. Stupid, but free.

Today is one of those days when the planets have aligned in a cosmic singularity such that “jerking off” and “ABC” have appeared in the same sentence.

After the success of “How to prevent masturbation,” tomorrow in ABC: “How to be a good feudal lord.”

Seeing as ABC has taught us how to prevent masturbation, they ought to teach their friends in government how to stop fucking us up the ass.

Do you think that masturbation is bad? (A) Yes (B) Obviously (C) It's a sin (D) ABC's response is correct

Some tweets sharply pointed up ABC's hypocrisy:

ABC's attack on masturbation would be better applied to some of the advertisements for prostitutes in their newspaper.

Well yeah, it's normal that ABC opposes masturbation, we all know that monarchists are whores’ best customers.

The online press has echoed the activity on Twitter, throughout the course of the day publishing numerous responses to ABC's article. Bloggers didn't lose the chance to interject their own opinions. Shurmanico commented on the blog Tremending Topic [es]:

Ahora lo entiendo todo, por eso este pais esta tan lleno de hdp, siguiendo la doctrina ABC, no te la casques vete de pilinguis, hazlo sin condon como buen catolico, luego te confiesas y vuelta a empezar. Si te mueres de alguna enfermedad estas haciendo un favor a Spain ya que no tendran que pagar la jubilacion.

Now I understand everything. This country is full of bastards. Following the doctrine of ABC, don't jerk off but instead go to whores, do it without a condom like a good Catholic, then confess and start over. If you die of an STD, you'll be doing Spain a favor since you won't have to be paid a pension.

In the post “How to jerk off 27 times before finishing ABC's article” [es] on the blog No sin mi mochila (“Not Without My Backpack”), Martyn opined:

Si me diera por tener hijos, lo que filtraria no sería el porno, sino los medios de desinformación como ese panfletillo digital casposo.

If I had kids, what I'd block wouldn't be porn, it'd be conduits of disinformation like that grimy digital leaflet.

MK posted in the newspaper noticias de Navarra (“Navarra News”) [es]:

«La masturbación puede dañar seriamente su salud», imagen de subida a Twitter por Su

«La masturbación puede dañar seriamente su salud», imagen de subida a Twitter por Su

¿Que será lo siguiente que se inventarán estos cristofachas? ¿Un cilicio como regalo en la entrega del ABC del proximo fin de semana.? Es la acostumbrada prensa-basura para tapar la noticia de corrupción del día. Hoy el marido de la diferida está en todas las portadas por cobrar “por que tú lo vales” 6000€ al mes sin contrato alguno de un banco restacado.

What are the Christofascists going to think of next? A free hairshirt in the next weekend edition? Tabloids always put the latest corruption story on the cover. Today the Diferida's husband [a reference to Luis Bárcenas, husband of María Dolores de Cospedal] is on all the front pages for taking six thousand Euros a month, “because you're worth it,” from a bailed-out bank for doing absolutely nothing.

On Menéame, a website like Reddit or Digg where users can post, vote for, and comment on articles, criticocivico [es] didn't conceal his surprise at some of the support for ABC's article:

“Así estarás preparándote para el amor sólido, que pasa por ser dueño de tu sexualidad, y no permitirás que la masturbación le quite calidad a esa capacidad de amar” ¿Perdonaa?

“This is how you should prepare yourself for true love, by owning your sexuality and not letting masturbation diminish your capacity for love.” Excuse me?

To which lacrisis_son_lospadres [es] responded:

Lo de amor sólido quizá se refiere a la coprofilia. Los del Opus (el artículo lo escribe la Universidad de Navarra) tienen gustos un poco especiales.

“True love” probably refers to coprophilia. People from Opus Dei (i.e., the article from the University of Navarra) have somewhat special tastes.

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