For days, my tweeps have been retweeting thought nuggets from the Twitter account @_Capitalism_. Here, I will select a handful of reactions to the on-going Arab revolutions.
On April 6, Capitalism confesses:
I am capitalism and your intellectuals are well paid, well rewarded, well groomed to the point where the revolution disgusts them too.
On April 9, it admits:
I am capitalism and the Arab Revolutions are dangerous because they alter the common perception that hungry people can be fed rhetoric.
On April 13, Capitalism tweets:
The Arab Revolutions are dangerous because they have successfully integrated the populace and technology as an uncapitalist body.
The next day, it adds:
I am capitalism and the Arab Revolutions are dangerous because they are proving that there is more to life than capital accumulation.
On April 21, it explains:
The Arab Revolutions are dangerous because they prove that there's no such thing as a backward country when it comes to revolution.
I am capitalism and I have spent the last 40 years labeling Arabs as fanatics in order to get their oil for cheap.
I am capitalism and please you must understand that we must keep our cheap energy dictators in the Middle East in power!
On the same day, Capitalism further shows some remorse:
I am capitalism and I'm sorry for giving Mubarak and his good friends a few billion dollars a year so that they may torture their citizens
I am capitalism and the Arab Revolutions are proving that countries with borders and armies and rulers are an outmoded, stupid, concept.
and reminds us:
I am capitalism and I make the tear gas canisters they use on protesters, because I like to watch protesters cry! Now get back to work.
On April 22, it was back to business with a new confession:
I have made a deal with every Middle Eastern Dictator, they guarantee me cheap oil and I guarantee them a lifetime of torturing their people
I am capitalism and sure you can have your Egypt but you've got to leave those lovely pools of oil in the gulf for me and only me!
Today, Capitalism admits a reality check noting:
The Arab Revolutions are dangerous because they are forcing capitalists all over the world to think less of money and more of survival.
For more doses on the inner thoughts of capitalism, check out the Twitter account noted above.