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Africa: Hidden Thoughts & Emotions on Love among African Bloggers

Categories: Sub-Saharan Africa, Kenya, South Africa, Arts & Culture

14th February, better known as Valentine’s day [1], the love mood was not only felt on the streets of Nairobi by the many red flowers, ladies dressed in all manner of red clothes, and offers in

A Valentines day heart

A Valentines day heart

every shop; The Sunday dailies were awash with stories of lovers with advertisements taking most of the space with the aim of giving one ideas on how to spoil their lover on that day.

The story was no different online.

Njeri [2] who also calls herself La Femme reveals how she got flowers from her man, a surprise which she didn’t expect.

Valentine's Day is today. Happy Valentine's Day. It was a good day. I got flowers yesterday from Mr. Man. They were gorgeous and the message on the card was sweet. I absolutely loved them. Funny (or not so funny) thing is that Mr. Man had convinced me that he wasn't going to get me anything for Valentne's Day. I was straight up bummed. But later he said that he had to tell me that so that I wouldn't ruin the surprise. Yesterday was a happy day, I was animatedly excited. Thanks babe for the flowers:)
I got him a book. I hope he'll like it. I think he will, and a Valentine's Day card.

Reading her post, one can clearly tell that she is the reason why the day has never failed to disappoint.

P.K.W [3]- Proud Kikuyu Woman’s valentine day was not such a joyful one, the man that sent her a card, wine and chocolate and who wants to marry her is not the man that she sees herself spending the rest of her life with.

The thing is that I’m already thinking of how to end it with the Man, because I don’t see his clan bringing goats and cows (actually these days it’s their equivalent in Kenya Shillings) to mine in exchange of me. We had agreed that the walk down the aisle can be done several years down the line, or even never, as long as the legal thing had been done so he’s not left free to ‘buy’ as many wives as he can afford. We had even set dates for the initial unofficial Meet the Family visits last December, before I suggested that we postpone for a later, unspecified date.

The day leaves her wondering if she will ever get married, turning 32 this August and the chances getting slimmer.

Inari Media [4] chose the day to encourage the single ladies not to rush to ‘put a ring on it’.

Her article that lists all the privileges that a woman will lose if/when she agrees to a man’s proposal can easily make one change their mind. But as she warns at the beginning of the article, she herself might just be tripping up the isle of a registry office at some point in future.

No matter how much lip service either party pays to equality between the sexes, studies have shown that women will still do the bulk of the housework amongst co-habitating heterosexual couples. Not only that, but where health and earnings are concerned, marriage will actually be of greater benefit to a husband than to a wife. Should a woman have the temerity to breed, she will be the parent expected to manage the bulk of the childcare too. Even if they return to work after maternity leave, they will find themselves on the “Mummy Track,” possibly demoted, but definitely sidelined from greater career progression. Some unfortunate women even find themselves dismissed, and consequently find it difficult to find an employer willing to take on a woman with responsibilities outside the office.

Daniel Ngari [5] choose to focus on polygamy by using King Solomon, South Africa’s president Jacob Zuma and our individual goals as his reference points.
His is an interesting exploration of our faults in marrying and sticking to our goals to the end yet we are all quick to judge those in polygamous marriages.

Tamaku [6] who runs the Diary of a Gay Kenyan chose to celebrate his on 13th with his love George preferring not to risk being admonished on Sunday 14th.

A South African Blogger, pessimist Incarnate [7] observed that there was a lot of vibrations on Valentines day according to Seismologists all around the world.

“I definitely felt the Earth move last night,” said Dawn Jarvis of The American Seismological Institute. “The mattress was bouncing and the springs were squeaking and it rocked my world……..”

While none of the affected could offer any explanation for the increased seismic activity, it should be noted that there was a definite correlation in the intensity of movement to the amount of chocolates, flowers, and Lacey red lingerie which were found in each home of those interviewed,

It is still on this lovers day that the Malawian president Bingu Wa Mutharika engaged [8] his newly found love, former Minister of Tourism and Wildlife, Callista Chapola Chimombo at a colourful ceremony in the country's Capital City, Lilongwe.