Sri Lanka: Learning To Let Go

Roshanthi Lucas at Random Thoughts tells why it is important to learn “to let go of things that are not necessary”.

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  • Self Mirror

    Something I’ve come to realize across the years (the few I’ve been on this planet) is that how others respond to you is a reflection of your own self image. This is a concept I like to call the ‘Self Mirror’.

    The more faith you have in yourself, others can see that confidence, and their belief in you and your capabilities increases. This in turn improves your own self esteem and has a cyclic effect helping to improve your capabilities. Of course the ‘Self Mirror’ works in the negative way as well. People can usually see through the mask, when you pretend to be someone else. Often when people see that you have an inferiority complex they treat you as inferior too.

    When I say having confidence and faith in your self I don’t mean acting Superior. I think acting Superior is simply another way that people handle their inferiority complexes. It’s that deep-seated feeling of inferiority which makes people want to ‘bring others down to their level’. In order to hide their own lack of self esteem they pick on someone they see is already feeling inferior, and augment those feelings of insecurity. By making someone else feel smaller, they try to boost their own self image. Which is why snobs are only snobs around people whom they see have an inferiority complex. In a way it is only with your own consent that a snob can be that way. This is something I realized as someone who had a strong inferiority complex growing up.

    Looking back, I can see how others treated me has changed across the years from the time I was a painfully shy teenager to today where I can honestly say I’m happy with myself. I remember being ‘invisible’ growing up, and it was only after I started to accept myself that others started to have confidence in me as well. So now when people say I’m different, I say I’m Unique. People say this often cos I don’t fall in to any of the typical stereotyped categories. My background is in Engineering but now I’m working in a Not-for-Profit Organization fighting agaist AIDS, TB and Malaria. I also love working with people and find human psychology very intriguing. At the same time I’m someone who loves performance theatre, and singing and dancing as well as adventurous experiences. When I’m with the ‘techys’ I’m a total extrovert where as compared to my out going drama friends, I’m the total introvert. As someone who experienced the whole spectrum from total introvert to extrovert (though the old feelings do come now and then) I know that once you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything.

    I also remembered a beautiful saying by Nelson Mandela (originally from Marianne Williamson A Return to Love) and thought of finishing this post with these beautiful lines

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

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