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Korea: Marital Rape and Suicide

A man who was convicted for the first time in Korea of marital rape in January of 2009 committed suicide.[EN] The judgement stood for his wife who is from the Philippines and the humiliation led him to suicide. His case brings several issues to netizens — countryside men, multi-cultural families, international marriage, and women's rights.

Here are several opinions.
1.

[…]부부 강간죄 인정되니 여성계는 아주 좋아 난리다. 당연한 결과란다.[…] 근데 굉장히 우낀다.과거 간통이 남성들의 전유물일때는 간통죄가 여성을 보호하는 최후의 수단이라며 간통죄존속을 앞장서 주장하더니 이젠 반인권법이라며 폐지하라는 것이다. 아니 여성들이 드디어 인권이라는걸 깨달앗나?[…]

[…]After marital rape is acknowledged, female activists are so happy. They said that it is right.[…] But it is funny. When affairs were male-dominated activities in the past, they vocalized that adultery punishment was the ultimate means to protect women. However they speak out that it should be abolished under the pretext of anti-human rights at present.[…]

2.

[…]다문화가정….부부강간죄…현대판 노예? 아니면 사기꾼?[…]

[…] Multi-cultural family…marital rape.. Modern slave?or swindler? […]

3.

제가 생각하기 보다는 부부강간죄 보다는 살인미수나 폭행 및 협박 인거 같은데…
왜 그게 부부강간죄 인지 도통 알수가 없습니다..

In my opinion, it seems that it is attempted murder or threat rather than marital rape. I don't understand why it is regarded as marital rape.

4.

[…]이 남성분의 개인사정은 신문을 통해서만은 알 수 없으니 어느 쪽의 탓이라고 콕 집어 말할 수는 없는 게 사실입니다. 그래서 법이라는 게 있는 겁니다. 어떤 사람의 주관적인 사정에 흔들리지 않고 법질서와 사회의 안정을 위해 객관적인 사실을 바탕으로 판단해주기 때문입니다. 설령 그 객관적인 사실이 어느 일방의 억울함을 해소시키지 못할지언정 누가 이기든 한 사람은 억울하기 마련인게 인간사입니다. 가장 적게 억울한 사람이 나오도록 하는 게 법이 할 수 있는 최선 아닌가요. 저도 별로 법체제를 신뢰만 하는 건 아니지만.. 이번 사건에서만큼은 객관적인 판단을 했다고 보여집니다.[…]

[…]I don't know what real story he has through media. Therefore, I don't want to talk about whose fault it is. That's why there is law. Not being influenced by certain persons’ opinions, the law is based on objective views and is for social stability. Even though it is sometimes not satisfying everyone, it is how life is. If one side wins, the other side is not happy about it. What the law can do is to let people feel justified as much as possible. I also don't trust the law completely.. However, I think that this one was objectively judged. […]

5.

[…]부부가 결혼한 이후 과정을 봐도 알수 있습니다..여자는 3개월 후에 집나갔다가 1년이 넘어서 단속으로 잡히고 남편이 100만원 벌금내고 데리고 와서 그이후에 여자가 잠자리를 거부하고 돈을 요구했다?이게 정상적인 부부입니까?[…]여기 고인된 사람은 순간적인 분노에 의해 실수한거고 수치심에 자살을 택한것이라 봅니다…부부간의 강간이란것이 합당합니까? 충분히 가정폭력법으로 해결할수 있는 문제입니다.[…]

[…]It is easy to know how their marriage life was after their wedding. She ran away three months after the wedding and was sent back one year after. The husband had to take her back after paying 1 milion won (about 1,000 US dollars) as the penalty. After that, she refused to sleep together and demanded money? Is that a normal couple?[…] The husband chose suicide due to anger and shame… Is marital rape right? It was possible to solve the problem with laws on domestic violence.[…]

6.

즉 폭력이나 흉기사용이 있었다면 이 점을 성관계와 분리해서 가정폭력죄로 적용해야지…[…]특히 이번 필리핀(25)아내가 한국남편(43)상대로 강간당했다고 고소한 사건의 경우 자초지정도 모르고 남편보고 ” 짐승이네 어찌 아내 상대로 강제로 하려드냐? 변태 아니야?”라고 몰아 붙이고 온갖 더러운 배설물급의 악플을 다는 인간들 기사댓글서 많이 봤는데요. 여러분이 지금 농촌등에서 벌어지는 다문화가정의 어려움을 몰라서 하는말입니다[…].제 이야기 듣고 당신이 여성이건 남성이건 잘 한번 역지사지로 생각해보세요

아시다싶이 한국은 60~70년대에 남아선호사상으로 남녀성비간 불균형이 심화되던 시기입니다. 자연히 남성으로 태어난 이유로 남자들은 제짝을 찾지 못하는 시대적 아픔을 (본인 잘못도 아닌데) 갖게 되는 남성들이 소수 생겨날수 밖에 없으며 이들의 태반은 안타깝게도 농촌총각 및 도시의 별능력없고 외모도 딸리고 그런 남성들…어찌보면 참 불쌍한 사람들이 그 짐을 지게되죠. 특히 여성들은 죄다 도시남성과 결혼한다고 떠나 버리니…부농이 아닌이상 농촌총각이 직업이 농부건 회사원이건…결혼하기란 쉽지 않고 어느덧 35,40…순식간에 나이는 먹으면 더더욱 한국여성과 결혼하기란 어렵죠[…] 외국인신부를 차선척으로 데려오는데…개중에 서로 잘 사랑하며 사는 케이스도 있고, 남편이 외국인아내를 무시하고, 함부러 대해서 힘든 가정도 있고…마지막으로 외국인아내에 의해 남편이 피해보는 사례도 당연 존재한다는 겁니다.[…]

It should have been separated from sex and treated as domestic violence…[…] About the marital rape between Filippina wife(25) and Korean husband(43) this time, people don't know what really happened between them and randomly say, “He is the beast. How could he try it forcefully to his wife? Isn't he a pervert?” You guys don't know difficulties of multi-cultural families in countryside now.[…] Think about their situation a little bit.

As you know, due to son preference thought in the 1960s and 1970s in Korea, unbalanced of the ratio of men and women is extreme. Eventually, men have a hard time to find their partners (even though it is not their own faults) and men who are from the countryside and who are short of abilities and appearance in cities have burdened this problem. Women all leave the countryside in order to find their partners in cities. Therefore, some countryside men and city men age to 35-40 can't find Korean women for marriage.[…] So some of them find their wives overseas… some of them love each other and have happy marriage lives. Some of them look down on their foreign wives and have difficulties to have happy marriage lives… some of them are tricked by some foreign wives… There are several cases[…]

7.

이미 선진국에서는 부부강간죄를 인정하고 있는 추세이구요, 형벌을 받은 사람또한 상당수 있는 것이 사실입니다. 다만 한국만 성폭행의 경우 피해자를 부녀만으로 한정해두었는데 이를 남성까지 포함하는 ‘타인'으로 용어를 바꾸어
부부강간죄를 유지해야합니다.

In many developed countries, they recognize marital rape and some are punished. In our case, we limit the victim to wives. We should include men as well and keep the marital rape laws.

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