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Korea: Marriage is reality

In order to avoid political issues for once, I found an interesting post and comments from other netizens. It’s about Love, Marriage, and Reality. What do you think?

“결혼은 현실이다”라고 말하는 여자..

몇달 전에 선을 봐서 조건이 좋은 여자 만났습니다. 외모도 이쁘고.. 학벌도 좋고.. 직업도 괜찮고.. 무남독녀 외동딸에.. 집안에 재산도 어마 어마 하더군요.. 선을 보고 서로 호감도 있고..나이도 있고 해서.. 어느쪽이 먼저랄 것도 없고 자연스럽게 결혼 얘기가 오갔습니다. 참 즐겁고 좋더라구요..남들은 결혼 준비 하면서 많이 싸운다고 하지만.. 우린 오히려 조건을 보고 만나서 호감을 가지고 결혼얘기가 오가다 보니..싸울 일이 없었습니다.
 
혼수 문제…무남독녀 외동딸을 시집 보내는 부자집 부모님 입장에서 좋은 것 다 해줄려고 하죠..우리집안 역시..
장남이 장가를 좋은 곳으로 간다며 예비 며느리를 환영하지요..사정이 이러니 싸울일도 없고..서로 즐겁게 결혼준비도 진행중에 있습니다.다만…저는 오랬동안 공부만 하다가..일 하고 돈 벌기 시작한지 얼마 되지 않죠..
 
그나마 남 밑에서 일을 하다가..얼마전에 사무실을 내고 빚만 있는 상태죠..이제 부터 열심히 그 돈 다 갚는다고 쳐도 얼마가 걸릴지 모르지요..결혼준비 하면서 여자친구가 그러더군요..”결혼은 현실이다. 아무리 사랑하더라도 그 사랑을 유지할 현실적인 능력이 없다면 둘 다 불행해 질 수있다” 이러더군요..
 
그러면서 여자친구가 제 친구 얘기를 하더군요..얼마전에 친한 친구가 파혼을 했습니다. 오랬동안 사귄 사이였고 양가집 상견례까지 하고..결혼 날짜만 잡으면 되는데 2008년 12월 중순경에 친구가 회사에서 짤렸습니다.
 
그리고 새롭게 취업을 못하자 당분간 결혼은 친구가 직장 새로 구하면 다시 결혼 얘기하자고 하더나 이런 저런 일로 많이 다투고…결국 헤어졌나 봅니다. 이런 얘기를 여자친구가 하면서 자기 같아도 헤어졌을 거라고 말하네요..
 
흠..결혼을 하고 결혼을 유지하기 위해서는 열심히 돈 벌어야 겠네요..그래도.. 여자친구 사랑합니다. ^^ 현실을 따지면 나중에 현실이 바뀌면 또 문제가 생길 겁니다…조건이 좀 못하더라도 사람을 고르세요..평생을 같이 살 사람을

A woman who says “marriage is reality.”

Several months ago, I met a woman at an arranged meeting. She was pretty, had a good educational background, and a nice job. She was the only daughter in her family and her parents are quite wealthy. After the meeting, both of us were quite attracted to each other. Regarding our ages, we naturally started talking about marriage. Meeting her was fun and I had a good feeling. I heard that many other guys fight each other when they prepare for getting married. But in our case, we started knowing each other after we had knowledge of our conditions. We got to like each other after that and therefore we needed not to fight.

About wedding preparation… Her parents, who have only one daughter, want to do all nice things. My parents, who are marrying their first son off, are the same and welcome my girl friend. So, we need not to fight and can prepare our wedding. However, I have studied for a while and just started working.

I was working under someone and just stood on my feet. In order to be independent, I have debt. Even though I start learning from now, I don’t know how long it will take. While we prepare the wedding, my girl friend said, “Marriage is reality. Even though you love the other side so much, if you don’t have practical ability in order to keep the love, it is easy for both of them to be miserable.

Then she reminded me of my friend. He just broke off his engagement. They have been together for a long time and each family side has officially met each other. The next step was to choose the wedding date. But in the middle of December, my friend was fired. He couldn’t find a job right away. They talked about delaying the wedding until he finds a new job and started having frequent fights. In the end, he broke up. My girl friend said that she would break up as well.

In order to be married and to keep the marriage, I should make a lot of money. Anyway, I love my girl friend so much.

Here are comments from others.

결혼은 현실이다< << 100% 공감은 하는 말씀이지만,^^* 그것보단,^^ 사랑으로 모든건(??) 극복가능하답니다.^^* 아직 돈이 없어서 밥을 굶진 않아서 배부른 소린지 모르지만,^^* 그래도 제 짧은 경험으론,^^* 사랑만큼,,결혼에 가장 필수조건은 없다고 봐요,ㅎㅎ ^^*

Marriage is reality. I 100 percent agree with that. However, with love, you can overcome all troubles. Maybe I have not been hungry yet. So I am still positive^^* However, with my experiences, ^^* Love is the most important and essential condition for marriage, haha^^*

“가난이 문안으로 들어오면, 사랑은 창밖으로 나간다고 하더군요.” 어찌보면 잔인하지만, 냉정히 현실을 판단할 줄 아는 여자분을 만나신 듯 합니다.

”If poverty steps in your door, love will step out of your window.” It sounds cruel. However, I think that you are meeting a woman who knows how to make a cold judgment about reality.

저희는 단돈 500만원으로 시작했습니다. 학생때라 돈이 없어 만두국 하나에 기뻣고 어쩌다 놀이공원이라도 가는 날이면 팔짝 뛰고 좋아라 웃었던 기억이 나네요. 시대가 바뀌고 유행이 변한다지만 내 삶의 동반자에 대한 사랑이 바탕되지 않았다면 시작하지 않았겠죠. 3년 8개월만에 집을 샀고 아이도 생겼습니다. 너무나도 만족하고 사랑하고 열심히 살아가고 있습니다. 조건?? 사람마다 다르겠지만 어떠한 상황에서도 나를 믿어줄 사랑에 비한다면 아무것도 아닙니다.

We started with 5,000,000 won. At that time, we were students. We were happy with dumpling soup and if we had a chance to go to an entertainment park, we were so excited. Times change. Fashion changes. Thoughts change. However, if love was not between us, we would not have started. Within 3 years and 8 months, we purchased a house and had a baby. At present, we are really satisfied and still love each other. Conditions?? It depends on people. But with love that will back up you, nothing is comparable.

행복하기 위해서 돈이 꼭 필요조건은 아니죠?서로에 대한 감사의 말한마디! 따뜻한 눈빛! 서로를 아껴주는 마음!몇 백만원짜리 핸드백하나 던져주면 여자들이 같이 살아준다고 그게 정말 좋은 걸까요?정말 행복한 걸까요? 물론 돈이 중요합니다. 하지만 더 중요한 건 상대를 정말 사랑하는 마음입니다. 돈이 전부는 아니죠! 돈은 얼마든지 벌 수 있습니다. 방법도 많구요. 하지만 진실한 사람을 만나는건 정말 힘듭니다. 그런 안목을 기르세요~~

In order to be happy, money is not an indispensable condition. Words to appreciate the other side! Expression in your eyes with warm heart! Giving several thousand dollar handbags to your woman is the reason why your woman lives with you! Is that really enough? Of course money is important. However, the most important thing is to love the other side. Money is not everything! You can make money anytime. There will be many other ways as well. However, it is really difficult to meet an honest person. We should learn how to acknowledge those people~~

결혼은 현실이 맞습니다. 이건 여자나 남자나 모두에게 통하는 말이지요..분명 돈보다 사랑이 먼저이고 돈이 전부는 아닙니다. 하지만 그 사랑에 대해서도 한번쯤 되새겨 봅니다. 정말 그 의미가 뭘까요? 보통 사랑의 유효기간이 있어서 어느정도 시간이 지나면 정이였고 또 현실적인 문제때문에 힘든 커플들 많이 봤습니다. 어찌보면 사랑이란건 정말 잠시이고 정말 사랑이라면 부모가 자식을 향해 생각하는 그 정도가 사랑이란 생각이 들어요..남녀간의 사랑은 이기적인면이 참 크지요..[…]

It is right. Marriage is reality. It works to men and women, both sides. Of course, love is more important than money. Money is not everything. However, we have to think about love. What does that mean? It is said that there is duration of love. As time goes by, it turns to be sympathy or compassion. I saw many couples who have hard time due to reality. Maybe love is temporary. If we talk about love, maybe love from parents towards their children will be real. Love between men and women is rather selfish.

[…]결혼을 유지하기 위해서 돈 많이 벌어야겠다가 아니구요..부모가 되기 때문에 당연히 돈을 많이 벌어야 합니다. 그래야 자식들이 고생을 안하지요

[…] Not in order to keep your marriage, but in order to be parents, you should make a lot of money. So your children will not have a hard time.

불행히도 여자친구 이야기가 맞는 말입니다. 하지만 여친이 그 말만 하지는 않았을 것입니다. 다른 좋은 이야기도 분명히 많이 했을 것 같습니다. 다만, 님이 다른 말보다는 ‘결혼은 현실'이란 말에 대해서 일종의 충격을 받으신듯 하네요. 현실과 이상 사이에는 분명히 괴리가 있지만 좋게 해석하시고 열심히 사랑하시고, 더 열심히 사시기 바랍니다.

Unfortunately, what your girl friend said is right. However, I don’t think that’s all that she said. I am sure that she talked about other good stories as well. It seems that you’re shocked with “marriage is reality.” Event though there will be a gap between reality and ideal, think positively, love well, and live well.

그러구,^^ 아직 애기는 없지만,,애기 낳으면,, 한달에 아껴써두 교육비에 머에 하면 최소 300은 있어야 생활이 되죠,^^* 거기에 저축까지 할려면,ㅎㅎ ^^* 살아보니 ^^ 결혼은 현실이더라구요,^^* 저야 능력이 별루 안되서리 맞벌이를 하지만,^^ 아직은 부족해도 사랑으로 극복하지만,^^* 그래도,^^* 돈이 좀더 있었음 하는 욕심이 가끔 들긴해요,^^ㅎㅎ 하지만,,, 머니머니해도,^^* 사랑이 제일이라죠,ㅎㅎ 나름 저도 월급 감봉에 와잎도 감봉에 힘들어두,^^* 사랑으로 극복은 된답니다.^^* 분식집 떡뽁이 외식에도 행복해 하는 와잎보면서^^ 역시 사랑이 제일이라는걸 느낀다죠,ㅎㅎ 힘내세요,^^

You don’t have babies yet. If you have babies later, you have to save money. Even though you save, you usually spend 300 (US3,000 dollars) for education fee. Then you save money in the bank.^^* haha. Living this world, I also feel that marriage is reality^^*. I am not that capable. So my wife works as well. Now we overcome reality with love^^* However, sometimes, we also hope for more money, so that we don’t have to face these troubles. But… I can’t deny love is the most important thing. Even though sometimes your salary is cut, it can be overcome with love. Looking at my wife who is satisfied with snacks, I feel that love is the best! Cheer up^^

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