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Korea: Please give me some advice on how to break up with this man.

Since continual candlelight vigils in Korea and protests against the current government, I have put posts about this topic several times. Feeling that I should introduce other topics, I have tried for hours to search for blog entries on other topics. It was not easy. Blogs and sub-topic panels are full of political issues. Luckily, I found one from a popular blog list with the title, “Please give me some advice on how to break up with this man.” Hesitating a little bit because of my presumption that it would be about a love story, I nevertheless clicked the link out of obligation to look at a post that received so many hits. But it contained unexpected content.

이 남자와 헤어지는 방법을 알려주세요.

제가 12월달부터 아버지의 강요로 사귀게 된 사람이 있습니다.
이름은 2MB이고요. 12월달에 저희집 머슴으로 들어왔다가 동네 이장인 조중동씨의 중매로 만나게 되었습니다. 우리 아버지가 조중동씨만 보면 환장을 하시거든요. 저는 싫다고 하는데 아버지가 경제살리는 능력이 있다면서 만나랍니다. 지금 회사사정이 어렵다구요. 울며 겨자먹기로 지금 만나고 있습니다.

아버지도 문제지만 그 사람도 문제예요. 저보다는 아버지의 땅을 더 사랑하는 것 같아요. 아버지가 대한민국이라는 땅을 가지고 계시거든요. 그래도 그것은 다음에 말할 내용에 비하면 아무것도 아니예요. 아버지를 빽으로 낙하산 인사가 되어 부동산회사의 사장이된 제 남자친구가 사업상의 일로 미국에 가서 글쎄 바람을 핀겁니다.

동네에서 친하게 지내던 버시바우의 소개를 받아 미국머슴 부시를 만나더니 사람이 확 변하더군요. 어떻게 사랑이 식을 수 있나요? 아니 처음부터 저를 사랑하지 않은 것 같습니다. 더군다나 남자에게 밀렸다는 것이 분합니다. 그래도 불도저 운전 자격증은 가지고 있어서 카트 운전은 잘하더군요. 이럴 때 쓰려고 자격증은 따두었나 봅니다. 미국에서 연애하면 안들킬 줄 알았는지 대놓고 염장질을 하더군요. 제 남자친구가 좀 무식하거든요. 그것까지는 참겠는데 글쎄 검역주권으로 만든 반지를 선물하고 광우병에 걸린 선물을 받아온 겁니다. 또 그걸 저에게 선심쓰듯이 주면서 먹으라네요. 그러면서 하는 말이 “미국에서 고기먹을 때, 네 생각이 나서 사왔어”라고 말하네요.

웃으면서 넘어가려고 해도 도저히 안되겠습니다. 그래서 친구들에게 말했더니 “그런 사람이랑 헤어져”라고 말하더군요. 용기를 내서 아버지께 헤어지겠다고 말씀드리니 아버지께서 너도 좌빨이 되었냐고 그러시네요. 아마도 아버지 친구분들께서 그 사람에 대해서 뭐라고 말씀하셨나 봅니다. 제 친구들도 그렇게 생각한다고 하니 남의 인생 망치는 좌빨놈들이랑은 어울리지 말래요. 아버지랑은 말이 안통하네요. 정말로 눈물만 납니다.

그런데 이인간은 이 상황은 아는지 모르는지 일본이랑 중국에 가서 또 작업을 걸고 있네요. 바람끼 많은 이남자와 헤어지고 싶습니다. 그런데 그냥 헤어지기는 억울해서 안되겠고, 골탕을 먹이고 싶은데 어떻게 하면 눈물이 쏙빠지도록 괴롭힐 수 있을까요?

아 그리고, 얼마전에 이인간 친구인 어청수라는 사람이 제 친구를 때렸거든요. 이 자식도 어떻게 하면 좋을까요? 가만히 있을려고 해도 도저히 참을 수가 없네요. 얼마전에 촛불들고 위협을 한번하기는 했는데 콧방귀만 뀌네요. 이자식 처리방법도 부탁드립니다. 하여간 동네 머슴들은 긁어모아가지고 사고치는 2MB를 어떻게 처리해야할 까요?

Please give me advice on how to break up with this man.

I have been going out with a person by my father’s will since December. His name is 2MB [The current president, Lee(2, the same pronunciation in Korean) Myung(M) Bak(B), is broadly called 2MB among netizens. The meaning is that in this modern technology world his behavior is like 2 megabytes, not even able to include a gigabyte.] He moved in my house as a servant in December and Cho-Joong-Dong who is our town chief made an arranged meeting between him and me. First time I turned the meeting down, but my father persuaded me that he has an ability to revive the economy. He said that his company is not doing well. Even though I didn’t want to, I could not help but meet him.

My father has a problem, but my boy friend has a problem as well. It seems that he loves my father’s land rather than me. My father has land, which is called Korea. Even though he became the president of a real estate company owing to my father, he went on a business trip to the U.S. and had an affair.

By the introduction of his friend, Vershbow, he got to know the American servant, Bush. After that, his personality has suddenly changed. How come his love for me got cold so fast? Or, maybe he didn’t love me from the first time. I feel more betrayed my love was pushed away by another man. He is good at driving a cart because he has a bulldozer driver license. Maybe he got the license for this kind of chance. He broke my heart even to show off his affair in the U.S. He’s not smart enough. I could have put up with all those parts. But he even gave me a ring made of quarantine sovereignty and received a gift that has mad cow disease. In addition, he gives the gift with the gesture of how generous he is. And then he said, “When I ate the beef there, I thought about you and so I brought it.”

I tried to ignore it, but it’s impossible. So I told my friends and they said, “you’d better break up with him.” I screwed up my courage and told my father I would like to break up with him. But my father asked me whether I become left wing. My father’s friends seem to talk about him. I told my father that my friends also agree with my idea and he said that I should not go along with the leftists who will destroy my life. It’s hard to have a conversation with my father. I break into tears. But now he doesn’t know what’s going on and flirts with Japan and China. I would like to break up with this playboy. But I feel victimized and would like to get at him. How can I do that?

And his friend Eo Chung Soo hit my friend several days ago. What can I do? I can’t stand this. I sort of threatened him with candles. But they didn’t care at all. Please give me advice on how to deal with this guy as well. This man, making trouble with other guys in our town… how can I deal with him?

2 comments

  • It’s always nice when someone bothers to write political commentary that’s actually funny. Thanks for translating, Hyejin – I’m going to send this to friends on both the left and the right in the US to encourage them to try harder to be funny when writing political critique… :-)

  • HaHaHa :)
    I thanks to you. I think so you have good gag talent.
    If you breake up with 2mb, and find me.
    I introduce my friends for you!
    And sorry for my English –;

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