Sex education is an extremely taboo issue in the very Islam-conscious nation of Brunei. However a recent Borneo Bulletin headline “Teen mums worrying trend” (mirror), had kicked off some interest in the blogging circles. The bloggers feel that maybe it is high time for schools to start incorporating sex education into the curriculum.
Pre-marital sex (zina) is against the tenets of Islam and committing such an act would be enormously sinful. Therefore, many still believe that zina does not happen in the country, or at least not to a significant level. The commonplace idea is that, those who are not married typically abstain from having sexual relations.
However, that is not necessarily so. Jack from the Old Man's blog pointed out that we are “deluding” our naive selves if we believe that no one in Brunei practices pre-marital sex.
I find it sad that in Brunei, we still delude ourselves in thinking that Bruneians don't do these things. That only married couples have sex. We find it hard to accept that sex among teenagers are commonplace.
Jack argues that instead of just being blind to this fact, we should act upon it by educating the teenagers and equipping them with enough knowledge so that they could hopefully make real educated decisions about their own sex life rather than acting upon their instincts and curiosities without knowing of the consequences of their actions.
Of course, it is difficult to actually carry out sex education in schools because the Ministry, as fellow Muslims, they would not want to be seen endorsing and encouraging teens to experiment with sex. However, on the other hand, they are very concerned of the steep rise in babies born outside of marriage, which is also closely linked to another social problem – unwanted babies found in random thrash cans.
Allydee presented the argument eloquently in her blog:
On one hand, we're in a Muslim country and talking abt sex is a bit taboo. On the other hand, we can't ignore it given the fact that pre-marital sex is an ongoing issue in Brunei which leads to teen pregnancies which may lead to abortion or abandoned babies – it's a cause-and-effect. So in order to reduce the effects (teen pregnancies, abortion, abandoned babies) we need to address the cause (pre-marital sex).
LSM from Our Local Style understands the dilemma associated with this,
On one side you’ve got champions of morality and religious fervour who believe that sex education should not include information on contraceptives because such talk will only tempt youths into trying things for themselves. On the other extreme are those who push for better availability and understanding of contraceptives, as short-term a solution it may be, because it is far more desirable than seeing unwanted babies born.
However, the blogger proposed an alternative solution to this problem:
I propose that Brunei bloggers start championing sex education. I know a number of you guys are teachers (or teachers-to-be) and what better way to affect a change in the local education system than by answering a call for public opinion? Blog about sex education, tell us your story, post facts and myths about contraceptives, whatever.
So I kicked off the first post in answer to LSM's proposal and received positive comments regarding the issue. The discussion ranged from enforcement of abstinence by religious instructions to making students wear pregnant suits to teach them about responsibility and the risk of contracting ever rampant STDs.
It is not in our interests as bloggers to introduce sex ed posts to encourage teens to have sex. On the contrary, it is our humble hope that we can help to illustrate the huge responsibility that comes with having pre-marital sex, and also to point out the reality of some of the consequences that they might experience: STDs, teen pregnancies and in the worst case scenario- poor helpless abandoned babies.
Other posts related to this:
19 comments
Alma, I don’t know where you are from but….cola-cola can prevent you from getting pregnant??? what a stupid comment? who invented that statement? a man?
I feel sorry for you for not having done much research about Brunei. This website: http://www.bruneitourism.travel might help you learn more on what Brunei is all about. beautiful country…
Illiteracy in Brunei? Since 1984, Brunei started dual language in schools, with the English Language being the mode of education from Primary 4 (age 9 onwards) for all languages, except Religious Studies and Malay Language. We don’t claim 100% literacy but we’re in the high 90s, that much I know…
Women in Brunei are highly literate and are holding more posts in both the Government and Private Sector.
Alma, the topic discussed in this thread is actually (last I checked) is on sex education. Where did you have the nerve to actually discuss about another person’s country and what they do? We need a global input here, from poeple who has experience in managing social issues such as this… There are other horrors in the world than to pick on Brunei and it’s religious practices.
So, if you have had a success in Sex Ed or know a website that can actually help these social issues, do leave them in this page… Thanks…
We need a Global Contribution ….
Alma, for you from the CIA Website (www.cia.gov) on Brunei:
Literacy:
definition: age 15 and over can read and write
total population: 92.7%
male: 95.2%
female: 90.2% (2001 census)
i want to know its islam allow to sex education
Sex-ed. My mother’s a very keen advocate of it. She has managed to casually slip the whole please use a condom if you ever have pre-marital sex line in random conversations with me since my early teens. She follows up by giving me a whole lecture on the effects of pre-marital sex (throwing away your future etc). At the same time she encourages abstinence. Funny huh?
Whenever I mention this to my friends and ask if their parents do the same, I get a resounding no accompanied with a look of horror. I guess it’s not commonplace for parents to discuss this issue with their children.
It’s the risk that you might be encouraging or endorsing pre-marital sex through sex-ed that scares the wits out of some of us. Yet, must sex-ed be all about how to put on a condom?
On this issue, I am in total agreement with Maurina; sex-ed is also about the effects of pre-marital sex on your future, your partner’s future, your parent’s future (they presumably will have to foot the bill in terms of childcare at least initially), your child’s future (at the age of 17 who are you to say that you are financially, emotionally, mentally fit to secure the best future for your child) and your health among other things.
Responsibility for sex-ed lies in many and not one group. Parents, those considering pre-marital sex, the State, the healthcare system. Each one of these parties should address the issue head-on considering the impact of pre-marital sex on all these parties.
Is there anything to hinder this kind of attitude being developed within our community? Religion is often quoted as such a hindrance. A quick google search on sex education in Islam gave me the following link:
http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/education.html
“It is our firm belief that facts about sex should be taught to children in a way commensurate with their age as they grow up both by the family and the school. We emphasize that this should be done within the total context of Islamic ideology and Islamic teaching, so that the youth-beside getting the correct physiologic knowledge become fully aware on the sanctity of the sexual relation in Islam and the grave sin of blemishing such sanctity whether under Islamic law, or far more important in the sight of God. Provided the Islamic conscience is developed we see no reason to shun sex education (unfortunately the rule in many muslim countries), and we believe it is better to give the correct teaching rather than leave this to chance and to incorrect sources and to the concomitant feeling of guilt by the hush-hush atmosphere in which this is done.”
This is an approach that should be seriously considered by the authorities and an attitude that should be inculcated among parents and educators alike. Whether or not any such education will be treated seriously by the target audience is completely beside the point (although the hope is that it will be taken very seriously).
It must be noted that the above extract focuses on physiological and religious consequences of pre-marital sex. The economic and social consequences should form part of the material of the syllabus itself if not already taught under the heading of religion.
At the risk that I might rant any further, I will end here. Sex-ed is not an option.
And by sex-ed is not an option I mean it should be compulsory. I forgot that …not an option is used in the negative sense lol.
So let me rephrase that by saying that sex-ed deserves to be recognised as a necessary part of our education (formal and informal).
Btw, for more on Islam and sex check this link out:
http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/
http://www.islam-usa.com/s1.html
an interesting link above. sex-ed and islam from an academic’s point of view.
Brunei is just another stinking country like Saudi..