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Arabisc: Kuwaiti Looking for an Easy A

We may have all met them..at least those of us who have managed to secure straight As at school and university. While some us may shun them from the beginning, Kuwaiti blogger Jandeef couldn't shake this climber off his back that easily.

He gives us a hilarious transcript of a series of conversations he has had with a fellow Kuwaiti, who has come to study at the same university he in enrolled in, in the US. Whether the conversation is real or imaginary is irrelevant, but its portrayal of how some lazy students are after an easy A rings true to many of us who have come across such specimens in our lives.

Here's the dialogue, which started with this telephone conversation:

– شلون الجامعة هني؟
والله مستواها زين وسمعتها ممتازة بأمريكا وكل الشركات الكبيرة توظف خريجينها.
– يعني صعبة؟
هممم والله مو صعبة بس كرف .. يعني يبيلها مجابل.
– انزين انا ماني عارف سستم المواد هني والستدي بلان .. ودي لو تساعدني فيه الله يخليك.
حاضر .. نتلاقى باكر بالجامعة واشرح لك كل شي ان شاء الله.
– How's the university here?
– To tell you the truth, it has an exceptional reputation and all its graduates get jobs with leading companies.
– Is it difficult?
– Hmmm..It isn't difficult but you will have to put in a lot of work.
– Fine, I don't know what the system is and how to do a study plan. Do you mind helping me?
– I am ready. Let's meet at the university tomorrow, and I will explain to you everything.

At the meeting, our climber friend drops a few hints, but Jandeel pays no attention:

- هذيل طالبين مني ستدي بلان .. شنو الكلاسات اللي تنصح فيها؟
والله يعتمد على اللي انت تبيه .. يعتمد بعد على بحثك بالأساس.
– اي بس يعني قبل لا يصير عندي بحث .. شنو تنصح فيه.
والله فيه هالثلاث أربع مواد حلو إن الواحد يبدي فيها …
– ايه .. وهذيل سهلين؟
والله ما اقدر احكم يعتمد شلون انت تجابلهم .. بس انا خذيتهم والحمد لله ما كانوا بذيك الصعوبة.
– خلاص انا بتوكل على الله وبسجلهم على شورك.
-They have asked me to prepare a study plan. What are the classes you advise me to take?
– It really depends on what you want..It also depends on your thesis.
– Yes.. but before I have a thesis.. what do you suggest I take.
– There are those three to four subjects which are good to start the programme with.
– Are they easy?
– I cannot judge. It depends on how much work you put into the course. I took them and they weren't that difficult for me.
– Fine then, I will take your word and register.

And then he continues pushing for more.. but Jandeel still continues to offer him advise.

– احصل عندك هوم ووركات قديمة مالت هالمواد؟
والله ما ادري ادور لك .. بس يعني ما راح تفيدك بشي انا ماخذهم من زمان.
– يا معود بس امشي حالي فيهم قاعد بالكلاس ماني فاهم شي.
– Do you think I can get your old homework and course papers off you?
– I really don't know where they are.. Let me look for them. But you won't benefit from them because I took those classes a long time ago.
– It doesn't matter. I just want to get along with the courses. I don't understand anything happening in class.

And then the mid-term results are out..

– اليوم عطانا نتايج الميد تيرم .. الله يهديك هذا كلاس مقلب!
افا ليش ..
– اي والله توهقت .. الحين مادري شسوي ادربه والا اكمل ..
والله مادري كلم الدكتور شوف هو شنو يشور عليك.
– انزين ماكو هني توتر حق هالمواد؟
والله ما اعتقد .. التوترز عادة تلقاهم حق كلاسات أول سنتين.
– I got my mid-term results today. This class wasn't what I expected.
– Why?
– I think I am in trouble. I don't know what to do now. Do I drop it or continue?
– I really don't know. Talk to your professor and see what he advises you to do.
– Is there a private tutor here for those subjects?
– I don't think so.. There are usually tutors only for the courses offered in the first two years of university.

And then he wants to register for the second term.

- ابي اسجل حق التيرم الياي .. بس احتاج ستدي بلان اول.
اي اوكي .. شنو المواد اللي تبيها؟
– انت شتنصح فيه؟
انا ماقدر انصحك! يعتمد عليك انت وعلى بحثك .. يعني اقدر اقول لك هاك البلان مالتي امش عليها .. بس انا بانيها على أساس بحثي فمو بالضرورة تعني لك شي.
– انزين حق التيرم الياي .. شتنصح فيه؟
اخذ الكلاسات الثانية اللي تتبع اللي الحين ماخذهم ..
– لا يا معود .. انا بروحي متوهق فيهم الحين .. شنو اكو غيرهم؟
هممم .. اخذ هالكلاس .. وهالكلاس ..
– هذيل سهلين؟
والله مادري شقول لك .. هذا انا ما خذيته .. بس هذا ماخذه بس لازم تشد حيلك يعني.
– انزين على الأقل ما عندك الهوم ووركات القديمة؟
لا للأسف ما عندي. < <كذبة>>
– انزين يعني هذيل إيزي أيه؟
< <ولّين>> .. انا والله ما ودي أجاملك .. بس اذا انت ياي جامعتنا تدور كلاسات إيزي أيه .. ترى انت بالمكان الغلط .. يعني يمديك الحين تفكر تروح مكان ثاني لأن ما راح تمشي هني.
– انزين ماكو هني كلاسات اختياري؟
بلى فيه بس ترى اذا مفكر ترفع المعدل فيهم ترى ما يحسبونهم.
– لا حول الله .. والله بلشه.
– I want to register for the second term. But I need a study plan first.
– Ok, what are the courses you would like to take?
– What do you think?
– I cannot tell you what to do! It depends on you and your research. Do you want me to tell you here you go: this is my plan. follow it? I have developed it based on my research and it may not be of interest to you.
– Ok, for the next semester, what do you suggest I take?
– Take the courses which come after the ones you are taking now.
– I can't do that. I am already in trouble with the classes I am taking now. Are there other classes?
-Hmmm..take this class and this.
– Are they easy?
– I really don't know what to tell you. I didn't take this class but I took that one.. and you will need to work hard on it.
– At least give me the old homeworks then.
– I am really sorry but I don't have them (a lie).
– Ok, does this mean those classes guarantee an easy A?
– I don't know what to say..but if you have come to our university looking for an easy A, you are in the wrong place. You still have the chance to look for another place because at this rate, you will never pass here.
– Fine, are there any elective classes here?
– There are but if you are thinking of taking them to increase your GPA, they will not be counted for you.
– What a problem!

A few months later…

- بغيت أسألك .. جامعة ……. شلونها؟
والله مادري يعني من أي ناحية؟
– يعني بشكل عام الجامعة شلونها؟
والله عادية يعني .. مستواها سيء مقارنة بجامعتنا .. يعني لو انا خريجها للأمانة مو مال أفتخر بشهادتها مقارنة بجامعتنا.
– الكويتيين اللي فيها شيقولون عنها؟
والله ما يقولون شي يذكر .. عادية يعني.
– يعني سهلة؟
< <إي هات من الآخر>> .. والله ما أدري ما درست فيها.
– I wanted to ask you about the University of …. How is it?
– I really don't know? What are you interested in?
– Like in general, how is it?
– It is average really. It's level is really low when compared to ours..like if I were to graduate from it, I wouldn't be proud of its certificate.
– What do the Kuwaitis in it say about it?
– They don't say anything worth mentioning. Like I said, it is normal.
– Does this mean it is easy?
– I really don't know..I have never studied in it.

2 comments

  • […] In the past four days alone, Global Voices’ authors and editors have posted detailed reports on the conversations taking place in the blogospheres of Kuwait, Sudan, Bolivia, Libya, Indonesia, Zimbabwe, Morocco, Mexico, Molodova, China, and various part of South Asia, in addition to the numerous short items posted daily by our regional editors highlighting individual items of interest. As I write, for instance, an article arrives reporting on the suing of a blogger by the Bahraini government, followed by one from Turkey and another on press freedom in the Maldives. This material — which is Creative Commons-licensed — is linked to and used daily by journalists, bloggers and others, and is made available through a variety of customisable RSS and JSS feeds. […]

  • Honored to see the reference :)

    J.

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