Philippines: Filipino Intimacies in Saudi Arabia
Written byJose Manuel Tesoro
Saudi Arabia has long been a major destination for Filipinos seeking work. The PCIJ blog hosts a podcast from a journalist who lived there for three years, on how they deal with their loneliness and isolation there.
Written byJose Manuel Tesoro
68 comments
I am very happy to find out that there are still many Filipinos who are strong- willed, decent and responsible. John, Coal, George, Alex, Antonio and Arnold are just few examples of them.
Your deeds are worth emulating. May God bless you more for obeying His Commandments.
i guess what made me realize that being in a foreign land is far from what we were used to when we were in the philippines. i can never forgive myself once i go for illicit same sex affairs… maybe what made me strong is my being close to my family, values in life, strong determination and will and above all being a God fearing person.
i’ve been here in the kingdom (KSA) for almost 20 yrs, indeed i’ve seen myself the frail character that we filipinos have become. but i’ve seen too that many of our compatriots changed for the good, as a matter of fact they came to know their savior of all places here in the kingdom where practice of other religion is a taboo. i belong to them. it does matter a lot in choosing the path you want, yes, the free will given to us. either you want to go left or right. it is your choice. but i suggest choose the right one, it makes your life happier and peaceful…you also get a chance to store up treasure in heaven…
Nung nasa Pinas pa ako, aminado ako, talamak ako ng bisyo sa katawan. Dahil binata, lasing hanggang madaling araw, pasok sa klase at trabaho eventually ng lasing/may hang over, gimik na naman sa hapon.
Tira ng mga solid, ke damo, hash, bato at kung anu ano pang pampa duling.
Bigla akong napadpad dito sa gitnang silangan, kung saan lahat ng nakasanayan ko ay baligtad sa dinatnan ko dito. Bawal babae, inom, walang gimik. In short parang na rehab. Minsan naisip ko na tumalon sa tuktok ng flat namin nung ika tatlong linggo ko pa lang dito. Pero di excuse na maging praning or worse, pumatol sa bading. Ginamit ko ang oras ko, mag aral, magbasa, natutong mag gitara, sali sa sports, at dasal. Sa totoo lang, di mo kailangang sumama pa sa mga grupo grupo. Kahit sarili mo lang, mararamdaman mong may Diyos din pala.
Ok lang mag jakol, talagang kailangan, parang ebak din yan na kailangang lumabas.
Nakalipas ang ilang panahon, natuklasan kong kung bawal man, ay nandito pala ang mas malalang bisyo – mula sugal, babae, at laklak – hanggang sa mga exotic na trip – big time. Palitan ng mga siyota, banatan, skedyuld session – babae ito at lalake, mga mag asawa pa.
Pero di ko na kailangan yan. Solb ako sa sarili ko at sa reason ko kung bakit ako andito.
Ngayon, awa ng Itaas, may asawa na ako, at alam niya ang mga dinaanan ko. May dalawa na rin kaming anak na babae, magkasama kami dito sa gitnang silangan, balang araw, ikukuwento ko sa mga anak ko ang experience ko, at tuturuan ko rin silang uminom at kung anong trip nila, basta sa bahay lang at ako ang ka jamming.
Mga bro, muli, salamat sa experience ko dito, dahil malaki ang sampung taon ko na ngayong pamamalagi dito – sa kung ano ako ngayon at magiging bilang ama sa mga anak ko. Naiintindihan ko ang mga nahihirapan dito, dahil talagang mahirap. Pero lakasan lang ng loob, at di natin magagawa ito kung wala tayong sampalataya, sa sarili natin, sa Itaas at sa mga kamag anak nating umaasa sa atin.
Peace.
Translation provided by Mong Palatino:
Back home, I have many vices. As a bachelor, I am always drunk. I go to school and work with hang over from too much drinking. I also took illegal drugs.
Then I came here in the Middle East. Womanizing and illegal drugs are forbidden. It’s like I’m in a rehabilitation center. One time I was tempted to jump from the top floor of our building after three weeks of staying here. But this is not an excuse to lose one mind or go after gays. I used my time to pray, read, sleep, learn to play guitar, join sports competitions. Its not necessary to join many groups.On your own, you can feel God’s presence.
It’s OK to masturbate. Its like shit that needs to come out.
Later on, I learned that there are worse vices, even if they are forbidden – from gambling to womanizing, drinking, to the more exotic vices: exchanging of partners, scheduling of sex sessions between men and women, even with those who are married.
But I don’t need these things. I am satisfied with what I have and I am conscious of the reason why I’m here.
Now, with God’s blessing, I already have a wife and two daughters here in the Middle East. One day, I will tell them my experience and I will teach them to drink and learn music.
Brothers, thanks for all the shared experience. Ten years is long and it will have impact on my life as father to my children. I understand the difficult plight of others, it’s indeed difficult. One needs to be strong-willed and have big faith in ourselves, in the Lord and in our families who depend on us.
Peace.
We cannot blame Saudi’s if they would stereotype us all pinoy’s as Bading since a lot of pinoy third sex mushroomed here in Saudi Arabia. We cannot even blame them if they will simply follow or chase you with their cars, holding their bulging dick or even showing it to you and even showing a hundred Riyal bills because they thought that we are all the same. They would go after and would prefer pinoy’s than any other nationals. I am not blaming all Gay’s either ubiquitously but many are doing monkey business (let’s admit it), nag papabayad sila sa mga katutubo. Some had a grown female like mammary glands, wore female shoes, shirts and even sport female hair, walks & acted extremely feminine.
Even our own pinay’s will not escape to such findings. I will no longer elaborate what they are doing but “NAPAKABABA” na ang tingin sa atin hindi lang mga Saudi’s.
They are pretty sure and aware before coming here that such gestures are not acceptable here and yet “dala pa rin ang kanilang kabadingan dito.” They even organized shows for third sex. Ayaw nilang sundin ang batas e! I don’t want to sound exaggerated but all of these do exists in this predominantly Moslem country.
Why can’t they discreetly conceal their gestures and sex preference? I’d been working in an Arab country for the past 7 years and I’ve known a lot of gays; British, Scottish, Americans, Canadians, and they are very educated and yet they could hide their being gay at least in public. Can’t we do the same mga Kabayang binabae? Just for the sake of a little RESPECT to all our country man who are not engaged in such behavior?
Mga kabayan, kaunting respeto naman sa sarili sana.
Nagwork ako sa Saudi from 1996-2000. Nalibot ko na halos ang buong Saudi Arabia kasi meron kaming shop sa maraming province ng Saudi. Share ko lang ang opinion ko.
Paradise ang Saudi sa mga bakla. Sa Saudi kasi, sila ang nililigawan ng mga arabo. Kumbaga, accepted sila sa bansa ng mga arabo, unlike sa Pilipinas, halos pandirihan sila. Sa Saudi, ang mga arabong may syotang bakla eh proud na proud. Talagang dinidisplay nila na may syota silang bakla. Ginagastusan at kahit papaano eh minamahal sila. Mahirap kasi magkaroon ng syotang babae sa Saudi, bawal na, mahal pa. Pero dito sa Pinas, gumagastos ang mga bakla para magkasyota. Sila ang lumiligaw sa mga lalaki para patulan sila. Inde ko naman nilalahat, pero karamihan ay ganoon.
Inde ako naniniwalang lungkot o homesickness ang dahilan kung kaya nagiging bakla ang mga pumupunta ng Saudi. Bakla talaga sila na inde makapag-ladlad dito sa Pinas. Doon lang sila nakapag-ladlad dahil accepted sila, inde sila pandidirihan ninuman.
Oo, sobrang lungkot sa Saudi. Noong unang 2 buwan ko doon, gabi gabi akong lumuluha. Binata ako noon, wala pang pamilya, pero ganoon talaga kalungkot doon. Isipin nyo na lang, humagulgol ako sa opisina namin nung una akong nag-long distance. Birthday ko nung panahon na yon, kaya hagulgol talaga ako. Nakakahiya pero di ko napigilan.
Tungkol naman sa mga nagloloko doon, kahit papaano eh marami akong nalalaman tungkol dyan. Nagkaroon ako ng GF doon na may asawa. Maganda siya, sobrang ganda. Nurse sya doon. Ewan ko, pero ang sabi nya sa akin ay wala syang asawa, pero may 2 anak. Inde ako naniwala pero kinagat ko pa rin yung opportunity na magkaroon ng “kalaro” kapag nalulungkot. Mahirap kasi yung puro sariling sikap lang. Saka mas masarap yung may nakukwentuhan ka ng mga pinaggagagawa mo buong araw. Isa lang napansin ko, twing magkikita kami, pagkatapos ng “paglalaro” namin eh, “bilmoko” ang lumalabas sa bibig nya. Eh ako naman, komo binata at walang responsibilidad, at gusto ko talaga ng may “kalaro”, e sunod naman ng sunod. Ganoon palagi hanggang sa inde na siya nagpakita o tumawag. Ako naman eh nagsawa na rin siguro, kaya inde ko na rin tinawagan. Nagkaroon pa ako ng mga kasambahay na mga nagloloko sa mga pamilya nila dito sa Pinas. Natira kasi ako sa Family Flat, kasi nagkaroon ako ng ka-live-in sa Saudi. Wala lang, ang pansin ko lang eh, yung mga lalaking nagloloko, gusto lang na may nagaasikaso sa kanila doon sa Saudi. Yung mga babae namang nagloloko, eh parang konting kaluwagan ang kailangan nila pagdating sa pera. Ewan ko, pero sa lahat kasi na nakilala ko doong nagloloko, lahat ganoon ang sitwasyon eh. Medyo maganda ang kita nung lalake, yung babae naman eh medyo maliit lang. Iba yung mga binata’t dalaga ha..??? Inde sila kasali sa obserbasyon ko. Yung mga nagloloko lang. Sa mga binata’t dalaga, natural na lang siguro yon. Likas sa ating Pinoy ang gusto eh me syota, para naman may inspirasyon ka. Pero kung may asawa’t mga anak ka, dapat eh sapat na silang inspirasyon, kahit na sabihin mo pang malayo sila.
Medyo marami pa sana akong gustong sabihin. Pero pauwi na po ako ng bahay. Sa uulitin na lang po.
Translation provided by Mong Palatino:
Ghost:
I worked in Saudi from 1996-2000. I travelled the whole Saudi Arabia since we have shops in many provinces of Saudi. Let me share my opinion.
Saudi is a paradise for gays. Arabs court gay men. Gays are accepted here unlike in the Philippines, they are treated unfairly. Arabs who have gay partners are proud. They show-off their gay partners. They spend money on them and shower them with love. Its difficult to have a woman partner in Saudi. Its forbidden and its expensive. But in the Philippines, gays spend a lot to have partners. Most of the time, it is the gays who court men in the Philippines.
I don’t belive that loneliness is the reason why there are some who become gays in Saudi. They are genuine gays who couldn’t admit they are gays in the Philippines.
Yes, it’s very lonely to live in Saudi. During my first two months, I cry every night. I was a bachelor at that time. I was crying when I made my first long distance call from the office. It was my birthday. It was embarrasing but I couldn’t stop the tears.
There are many liars in Saudi. I know a lot about it. I had a girlfriend who was married. She was very beautiful. She was a nurse. She told me she has no husband but she has two kids. I didn’t believe it but I pretended to believe the story since I want to ‘play’ everytime I feel lonely. It’s easier if you have someone to talk about your job every night. I noticed that after we ‘play’, she would always want me to buy some things for her. Since I was a bachelor at that time, I ended up buying these things. It was our routine until she stopped seeing or calling me. I also have housemates who were lying to their families back home. I stayed in a Family Flat since I had a live-in partner in Saudi. I noticed that men who lied about their marriage only wanted someone to take care of them in Saudi. While women only wanted to ease financial difficulties. The case of single men and women were different. Bachelors lie for the sake of lying. I think its natural for us Filipinos to have partners to have inspiration. If you are already married and have kids, that would be enough to have an inspiration even if they are away.
I still have many things to discuss but I need to go home. Till next time.
tama ka dapat isipin nila na kaya sila nandun ay para sa kanilang mga mahal sa buhay na iniwan nila dito hindi para gumawa ng kasalanan na pagdating ng panahon eh sisingilin sila sa kasalanan na ginawa nila.
mga kababayan ko, libog lang yan!…palipas libog ka muna dito
KalibugaN BlaG – tambayan ng malilibog na pinoy en pinay of course.
http://www.beam.to/kalibugan
Mga kababayan,
Maraming salamat sa pagbabasa ninyo sa Global Voices.
Isang request lang po: Kung maaari, huwag namang masyadong “explicit” ang inyong mga kuwento sa comments. Broad ang audience namin, at baka may bata nagbabasa. Actually, one comment didn’t make it past moderation, I had to delete it kasi masyadong, eh…malibog!
Joel Tesoro
East Asia Editor
Bakit kahit may asawa na e nag lalaro pa rin nang apoy?
Sa ibaba nang building namin e andon ang paradahan nang mga sasakyan nang mga kumpanya na pumupunta sa bayan. Service nang mga Nurse, skilled at laborer. Sa flat (Building) kong tinitirhan ngayon, kaharap non e medyo lumang building din.
Noong isang linggo ko lang nalaman sa isang matagal na dito na meron palang mga babaeng pinay (hindi ko alam kung dalaga o Dala na sila) na pumupunta o pumupuslit at doon ang punta. At saan ka, nag nenegosyo talaga sila nang panandaliang aliw (sabi ng source).
Talamak daw ‘to sa mga babaeng maliit ang kita at saan ka pa…pati pala lalaki at binabae e nag nenegosyo din nang aliw. Madami pala sa Al-Khobar lalo na sa Ramaniah Mall na ang mga binabae e talaga namang ladlad!
Tsk, tsk,tsk. Hindi ko naman sila pinapakialaman at minamaliit sa desisyon at buhay nila pero grabe na. As in sobra na silang garapal kung mag hanap buhay nang extra. Kabayan bakit?!!!!!!!!
Translation provided by Mong Palatino:
Enigma:
Why do married people play with fire?
Below our building is a company garage. It transports nurses, skilled workers and ordinary laborers.
Last week, I learned from someone who have been here for a long time that Filipina women (I don’t know if they are single or married) are frequent visitors in the garage offering ‘short time pleasure’ for a fee.
Most of the Filipinas are small time earners. Even men and gays are also in the ‘pleasure buisness’. This is also prevalent in Al-Khobar especially in Ramaniah Mall.
Tsk, tsk,tsk. I don’t want to meddle and look down on their decision in life but it’s too much.Why do they need to engage in these ‘extra’ activities? Why my fellow Filipinos?
Hi, Sir
Ako po ay pupunta palang dyan sa KSA para magwork, bigyan nyo naman ako ng idea kung papaano ang buhay dyan.
Thanks.